“A
desire arises in the mind. It is satisfied immediately another comes. In the
interval which separates two desires a perfect calm reigns in the mind. It is
at this moment freed from all thought, love or hate. Complete peace equally
reigns between two mental waves.”
Dense
clouds hiding the sunset and stormy sea with high tides hitting the shore is a
rare combination of nature. I want to use this painting to blog a post for the
coming ‘Daughter’s Day’, 23rd September, 2012.
A
quote –
“Why
do we love the sea? It is because it has some potent power to make us think
things we like to think.” --Robert Henri.
Planet
‘Earth’ is our home and we are just given one life to live. As a girl or woman
in India, our own home has become the most unsafe place to live.
It
stops us from coming forward or chasing our dreams as we are always reminded
about the society and social obligations. My friend wanted to learn ‘MMA’ but
she was not given a chance as making/cooking food is more requisite criteria to
get a better groom than learning Mixed Martial Arts.
Carrying your maiden name
as part of your changed name (post marriage) is a big fight for some women in
India. I felt that most of the time like charity begins at home, my fight to
live my liberty as a woman started from my home as a daughter and a
daughter-in-law.
But
I did not give up as I am given one life and I want to live it at my terms and
conditions. I respect my family's sentiments as a daughter and daughter-in-law
but I respect my wishes as a human being too. I wanted to study ‘Literature’
being a science student and I fought with my parents to do so. In 1998, I was
told to fund my education myself when I was hardly 18 years old and that is not
so easy being in India. I took it as a challenge and started working while I
was doing my graduation and further studies.
My day used to start at 6:30 AM
and end at 10 PM and I used to save every single penny to pay my fees.
I have
no regrets as that decision taught me many good things about life and to
understand my abilities as a person. I was financially independent at a younger
age that made me understand the value of ‘money’ and respect for my ‘job’. I
must say, it was a good decision as I started early so I retired early due to
my medical condition BUT I lived the way I wanted to live, study and work. I
was in control of my decision and I listened to my heart. I have no regrets today as if I am able to
write a book or these blogs, it is because of my decision to study, ‘Literature’.
Follow
your dreams. Listen to your heart. Have good control over your mind. But being
a daughter or daughter-in-law, DO NOT STOP following your dreams just because
what would society think. People will judge irrespective of all the
contributions you make being a daughter or daughter-in-law. Respect them but do
not Expect from them. You have to prove yourself that starts from your home.
I
travelled a tough journey from being addressed as ‘Archana Kapoor’ to ‘Archana
Kapoor Nagpal’. In my community, women are not supposed to carry their maiden
name as a part of their changed name but I DID IT!
At
the end, Archana mattersJ
to me more than anything else. My achievements brought both ‘Kapoor’ and ‘Nagpal’
into limelight. But it was not known 7 years back so my fight was not an easy
one. But if you think you can dream then you should have the courage to chase
it and make it!
Be
a proud daughter and a prouder daughter-in-lawJ. I am sure sooner or later
your decision will bring fame to your families as well.
Love
to all the daughters!
