Well, the year 2010 is about to end in an hour. Guess what my husband has a night shift and I am thinking to party tomorrow. When you guys would be sleeping under the hangover effect I would be doing what you guys are doing now. Year to another year life really runs or time just flies.
HE held my hand six months back and asked me to live in moments. There is no life that you think is to be lived around days, months and years. ‘HE’ is nobody but my doctor who diagnosed me with Osteoarthritis.
If we go by medical history this is a very unusual case as there are not many women or I must say people suffering from this disorder at the age of 29. When I heard this I could not believe and I asked my doctor couple of times “Are you sure?” I felt my reports are exchanged with someone of the age group 45-60 years as the ageing process does not start at 29. I consulted the other doctor (known as the best in AP and among first five in Asia) but he also came with the same solution “we have no cure for you”. There is one woman in the number of 2000 who suffer from this disorder at this age. Probably, as he felt I was born with this disorder. I was prescribed with few medicines that I have to live on. He said “Your case is not that bad but yes you have to live with this as we cannot revert what has been damaged”. In short, I understood I will die with this. I went into trauma and was put onto depression pills. So many negative energies captured me that I sincerely thought of ‘mercy killing’ rather than living in pain that too lifelong. There were indeed there are days when I am as perfect as others but yes then there are days when walking few meters is difficult. There are beautiful days when I feel to avoid medicines but then there are days that these medicines make my life beautiful.
One day while crossing the road I read something that changed me “All of us might not be able to do Everything but each one of us can do Something”. I understood what my doctor meant when he said you do not have days or months or years to cherish indeed cherish every moment. I was missing the significance of ‘Something’ as my control of mind was around ‘Everything’. The first thing I realised was for so many days these depression pills were fighting for me. People were troubling with deliberate question like “Why no kids?”, “You limp?” etc and I used to take a pill. I have to fight for myself so I threw all the pills in a bin. First thing is to accept what is reality.
I framed my mind that today is the last day of my life, live it fully. There is no tomorrow for me. I changed everything around me with this scenario – Life is Beautiful, Live it Beautifully. Why do we need to think I will wear this dress on my birthday, it is just like any other day. Wear it today. Why will I shop only for Diwali or why should I enlighten my house on Christmas, why not today. I learnt not to live my life as per occasions. Make every moment an occasion.
When I look back I see so many beautiful moments that I wasted because I was like many of you waiting for the right occasion. You want to gift your wife a wrist watch then do not wait for her birthday as sometimes surprises are really appreciated than gifts on occasions.
Similarly, I am no more a ‘New Year’ person. I am not one of those who wait for 31st to drink or party with friends as I believe in a small quote
So New Year’s eve is just like any other night enjoy every evening as if it is a ‘New Year’s eve.
I have shared my story today as I do not want my readers to live life in days or months or years but in moments that make your days or weeks or months special.
Happy New Year 2011
