Pratyusha commits suicide and she makes to the headlines. People come up with their own speculations, and judgements. Every person has a judgement to prove his or her point.
This post is not about Pratyusha or why she committed suicide. I do not think I am the right person to write or comment about someone's misery. But I definitely want to write about why the generation is looking suicide as the only alternative. I am not writing whether Pratyusha was depressed or not? I want to understand what are we trying to prove by opting for suicide??
Is suicide an answer to our problems? Is suicide the only answer to end our miseries? Is suicide an escape from depression?
If the answer is 'yes' - then the world would not have been so populated as everyone has a problem that appears big enough to that respective individual. I fought depression. It is time for me to share few things from life. It might give an answer to many who quit to accept things, and get depressed for nothing. Depression is an outcome of web of thoughts. When you are in a negative state of mind - you create a thought and weave thoughts around it. Unfortunately, in depression a negative for a negative doesn't becomes positive. It is like a black hole that pulls you inside. Right becomes wrong; Wrong becomes right. Then you meet people and you get carried away with the closest bad traits of a person. You start liking those people. Gradually - you do more damage to yourself. When the cycle doesn't end - you are advised anti-depressants! Now you have to fight or get addicted as you cannot live on anti-depressants forever!...NOW WHAT FROM HERE?
I have experienced this in my life. I also felt suicidal tendencies quite often. I have lived on anti-depressants for long, at times for pain management as I could not handle my pain attacks, and many times for personal miseries. I did damage to myself. Every outside thing in real and virtual world attracted me. I got obessed with images of a hollow man that created an emotional vacuum within me. Now I was almost finished. Then one day - I got up, I took all the pills out of my drawer but I was addicted. I fought. I had pain; I had anxiety attacks. I chose to cry, get admitted but I decided to fight with myself. No wonder - I am still fighting. I walked out of my home. I coloured my hair. I resumed studies. I again fell in love with my hollow man but this time I was a different person now. I was confident that this black hole cannot pull me. I have my magnetic forces to resist it. I might be still somewhere lonely at times - but I am no more a depressed person. I look myself as a fighter who is handling her pain with no medication. A person who might not have anyone to take care of her in the near future but she is still struggling not to drown.
I came out of it - not because of my parents, my husband or someone's blessings. I came out of it as I WANTED TO COME OUT OF IT. After 11 years - I restarted my life at the age of 36. SUICIDE is not the answer to any problem. Face the adversities of life. Be a fighter. Remember - sun sets to rise again the next day. A problem comes so that we can be prepared for a tougher time.
I feel bad for Pratyusha as she died too soon at the age of 24. Be a strong woman. If I can do - you can also do it!
RIP Pratyusha!
